i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
