And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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