I'm lost and stupid without you.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
