Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
