My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
