JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
