It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
