so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
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I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
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I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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