she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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