They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
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but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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