just tell him i said nine months
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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