Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
