so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
