I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
