is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
