So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize