you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
