Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
