Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
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You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
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The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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