when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
