Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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