She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
