hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
