Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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