ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
