yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
