Already got asked if we're dating
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
