Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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