I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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