the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
