I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
