but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
