I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize