also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize