I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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