One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
