I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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