cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize