All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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