so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
