why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
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i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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