we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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