i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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