sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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