Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
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Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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