You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
