Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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