I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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