I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
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Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
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I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.