1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.