The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
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at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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