I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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