Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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