Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
