I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
foreskin is a definite game changer
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
