It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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