Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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