On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
