I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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