I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Congratulations! We have a period
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