I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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