I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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