You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
