She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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