I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
