Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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