Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
